axilia.org

Nothing else to say ….my life is currently following a quiet path..

I started sport again last week as scheduled..painful (even more after work).

Its currently 10.45pm, my flatmate has left the flat and went to the “92″, famous night club in Dublin south. And me nothing..just nothing..I am trying to set up an ATI card with composite/DRI options over Linux and it seems a tough job.

I’ve been in contact with a former friend a week ago..one of those who was a relative two years ago..until he shows me his reaction when I asked him for help.

He is simply nothing today, not more that someone I’ve never speak with. I was surprised that his life stills the same …nothing has changed, like a “two years copy and paste”.

A famous writer, Oscar Wilde, in a book called “The devoted friends” (sometimes I read) said the following sentence: “True friends should have everything in common”. I have to say, I disagree this sentence.From my point of view, friends are “true friends” only because of what they’ve been through, what they fought, what they lived together.

In two weeks I will be in Roma for a wedding (Mario), I have to say he is a true friend because of what we’ve been through together. I am very glad to say that a guy like him is my friend. This wedding will be a very nice opportunity to see Fouad and Mohamed as weel (two ex colleagues from HP). We will have good time over there.

Today is a small anniversary for me, I stopped every medics 18 months ago, it is not very relevant for most, but it is for me. Between 17 and 25 years old I was addicted to “drugs” like Xanax, I was sick for depression. I don’t even know why. What I know is in those time I was unable to do anything without those drugs. Now its over and I am glad of that.

I can’t believe that I live in Dublin for three years, its nice but it is also sad, I missed so much in my country with my family. My brother has a girlfriend for some time now and I know almost nothing about her. The only thing I know is that the last two years still painful sometimes and its a shame. I am waisting time because of a story which I can’t override. In those time I spoke with someone who said “life get revenge alone” is it true? who knows, I hope it is.

But its not time to cry or blame myself I am not that weak, I have to fight ..again..I’ve bet those medics, my former job, cigarette..I need to go forward again. The end stills far

Yesterday evening I had a talk with Jef one of my good friends here, someone honest, someone you can trust. I’ve spot that something went wrong and we talked outside, it is not necessary to explain what went wrong for him but the point is that I was trying to understand and help him. I really need to stop taking care about others, I can’t even manage my own life.

Its enough. its Balboa time! (I bought the DVD collection this afternoon)

Cheers